Being a mom is no easy feat – we oftentimes feel overwhelmed with everything on our plate; work, home, motherhood and being a wife all of which can be hard to juggle.
Hanging out with close friends and BFFs can lead to sharing endless stories and experiences about parenting along with giving and receiving advice on parenthood.
In the olden times, having a roof above your head and food on your plate was considered enough to make one happy and content with his life, but with all of the challenges of the modern-day lifestyle, how difficult is it really to be a good parent?
As mentioned, it can be pretty challenging, but is there an easy way to do it, or perhaps the right way? As it turns out, the answer to both questions is yes, according to experts.
This means that everything you’ve been feeling is all valid. Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University psychology professor Kirby Deater-Deckard says that for the middle-class family in the United States, it really can be stressful to have kids at this moment, which can be largely attributed to the endless choices we have, which means there is an added stress of making the right decision for your children.
Then and Now
It doesn’t mean that parents back then were not expected to make lifestyle choices, but the choices are generally much different now than they were in the old days.
Deater-Deckard points out that working outside your house nowadays means you need a caregiver, a nanny or a nursing home which also automatically pressures parents to fetch the kid in time for the pick-up – which can be especially frustrating and stressful in the rush hour traffic.
But this also doesn’t mean those who choose to stay in the comfort of their homes are safe from the stresses attributed with jobs.
Parents in this situation often struggle with different types of mental challenges like financial stress from not working. Livonia, New York mom Heidi Davis revealed that she suffers from the same problem but also tries to keep in mind that it was her own decision to be a stay-at-home mother and that her kids are the ones who are benefitting from it.
Then there are those of us who feel like they were given superpowers and think they can juggle everything in their lives including work, family and friends – these are the super parents who do their best at raising a child whilst also working full time.
Many parents believe that in this situation it takes a lot of sacrifice; you might miss your little kid’s school play, your wedding anniversary or your daughter’s birthday but that’s the price they pay for success. Life can be pretty bittersweet and ironic at times, wouldn’t you agree?
For sure, everything seems easier nowadays due to modern-day technology and social media. Anything is practically just a simple electronic click away – so if you’re ever in need of some advice, all you need is a smart device with an internet connection and you’re sorted.
Parents have never been more connected and well informed on everything related to parenthood which makes things much easier and simpler, or does it? Some might argue that it is actually much more complex and challenging to be a parent than it ever was before.
How is this related to technology? As technology has made it easier and easier for us to complete various tasks, the nature of tasks and our expectations from the outcome have arguably become much more demanding.
In this age when everyone is connected, it pretty easy for people to find and contact us when there’s something needed at the office, which means there is little to no quality downtime.
That’s not all, the modern media is a stressor in itself since it casually bombards us with a whole host of unnecessary or unsavory information like photos of earthquake victims, killings and even politics.
Positives of Stress
If there’s one thing that pressures us more than anything else, it is arguably ourselves; we can be pretty hard on ourselves when things don’t go perfectly or according to plan.
We might sometimes set unrealistic goals or we pressure ourselves into keeping up with everything, from raising our child to having a clean and big house, securing a college fund or a successful career.
But whether we bring it on ourselves or it is induced by external factors, Deater-Deckard said that stress can be productive, too; it can be helpful in being productive, becoming a much stronger individual mentally and psychologically. As is the saying goes, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.